(pronounced la-dash-a) the Mirror:
(enter a frequent visitor)
Giiirl, you an idiot! Stop lookin’ at me AGAIN. Of course you’re butt’s too big. Your lil’ friend there ain’t gunna tell you that, but you hang around me long enough and I tell you all about it. Oh, and by the way, that hair color just ain’t you. You should go more with a kind ‘a auburn or magenta instead of jet black. You lookin’ like Cher ‘cept not as cute. Whoops, you dun got water all over the sink! Wait, where you goin’? You ain’t gunna clean that up? Ser’ously. I have got one word fo’ you: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. You should find out what it means to me.
Oh hey, honey. You lookin’ nicer than that last girl that just walked off. Actually child, you lookin’ good. What’s that you wearin’, Cerruti? I ain’t seen no Cerruti since I passed through New York from where I’s manufactured in South Carolina. New York, New York! It’s you girl, it’s you! Oh, ok. You off. A’righty, it’s been real nice talkin’ to ya. Come on back some time ya…aaaaaaaaan’ she gone.
It’s ok. I don’t mind bein’ in here all by myself. Some body’s gotta look out fo’ people in here. Ooo, there’s the door. Awww, lowdy! I knew I soon as that word “people” come out I shouldn’t ‘a said it! Son, you ain’t supposed ta’ be in here. Shoo! Shoo! Aww lordy, there’s a man all up in here! Son, can’t you tell you ain’t in the right kinda place? HaaaHa! He dun noticed ‘fo he made it five feet in, good fo’ him! Yeah, that’s right, you better be lookin’ at me all apologetic like, an’ fix yo’ hair. Get now, ya hear, an’ don’t cha come back no more, no more, no more, no more!
(exit a non-frequent visitor)