S4theD: Day 30

It's been an eventful day on all fronts. Today's song comes to fill the need of a little grounding. I needed to be reminded of these truths, of this hope, of this surety, of this Rock. And what better, more apt reminder than to hear these truths from the mouths of my own friends and community. What a gift!


O Christ Our Hope
Christ Community Church Choir
Good Friday Service 2006

O Christ, our Hope, our heart’s Desire,
Redemption’s only Spring!
Creator of the world art Thou,
Its Savior and its King.

How vast the mercy and the love
Which laid our sins on Thee,
And led Thee to a cruel death,
To set Thy people free.

But now the bonds of death are burst,
The ransom has been paid,
And Thou art on Thy Father’s throne,
In glorious robes arrayed.

O may Thy mighty love prevail
Our sinful souls to spare;
O may we come before Thy throne,
And find acceptance there!

O Christ, be Thou our lasting Joy,
Our future great Reward!
Our only glory may be it be
To glory in the Lord.

All praise to Thee, ascended Lord;
All glory ever be
To Father, Son, and Holy Ghost,
Through all eternity.

S4theD: Day 28

This song reminds me of first friendships.


Rag Doll
by Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons

When she was just a kid her clothes were hand me downs
They always laughed at her when she came into town
Called her rag doll, little rag doll
Such a pretty face should be dressed in lace

I'd change her sad rags into glad rags if I could
My folks won't let me cause they say that she's no good
She's a rag doll, such a rag doll
Though I love her so I can't let her know

Rag doll, I love you just the way you are

S4theD: Day 22

Cheers to Baby Reategui!

OLE!
by Bouncing Souls

Ole, ole, ole, ole,
Ole, ole!
Ole, ole, ole, ole,
Ole, ole!

Bouncing souls no one can beat us
We drink beer and wear Adidas
Anywhere we get the itch
We're off to find a proper pitch
Lace your Sambas get on out
Off we go to kick it about
Win or lose we're having fun
We won't quit until we're done
We got heart when we play
Take you on any day!

Ole, ole, ole, ole,
Ole, ole!
Ole, ole, ole, ole,
Ole, ole!

Bouncing souls no one can beat us
We drink beer and wear Adidas
Anywhere we get the itch
We're off to find a proper pitch
Lace your Sambas get on out
Off we go to kick it about
Win or lose we're having fun
We won't quit until we're done
We got heart when we play
Take you on any day!

S4theD: Day 2

Babylon
by David Gray

Friday night I'm going nowhere
All the lights are changing green to red
Turning over TV stations
Situations running through my head
Well looking back through time
You know it's clear that I've been blind
I've been a fool
To open up my heart
To all that jealousy, that bitterness, that ridicule

Saturday I'm running wild
And all the lights are changing red to green
Moving through the crowds I'm pushing
Chemicals all rushing through my bloodstream
Only wish that you were here
You know I'm seeing it so clear
I've been afraid
To tell you how I really feel
Admit to some of those bad mistakes I've made

If you want it
Come and get it
Crying out loud
The love that I was
Giving you was
Never in doubt
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
Babylon, Babylon, Babylon

Sunday all the lights of London
Shining, sky is fading red to blue
I'm kicking through the Autumn leaves
And wondering where it is you might be going to
Turning back for home
You know I'm feeling so alone
I can't believe
Climbing on the stair
I turn around to see you smiling there
In front of me

If you want it
Come and get it
Crying out loud
The love that I was
Giving you was
Never in doubt
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now

Babylon, Babylon, Babylon, Babylon, Babylon

Lessons from a Week, Questions for a Lifetime

I have long appreciated the nature of the question. I have studied it, asked questions of its essence, its purpose, its origin. I have asked them of other people who know more about them than I. I have asked them of my students who know less about them than I. I have gathered those same students together to help me count the number of questions there are in Scripture because I felt that some answers to my questions about questions would surface in that endeavor. So I now know that there are approximately 2,534 questions in Scripture. I know that Job has 262—the most of any book in the Bible. I know that Isaiah and Jeremiah come in behind with 168 and 169 respectively, followed in number by Psalms with 146, John with 145, and Luke with 135. The process of counting questions in Scripture caused me to love questions all the more. I had a hunch that questions played a vital role in the educations of the Hebrew nation, and I felt a bit of confirmation in the discovery of those 2,534 questions in Scripture.

This past week I greeted, stroked, and helped burry, I talked and cried with the parents and family of, I read to, gave gum to, and played with the siblings of a beautiful baby girl who was able to make more of an impact in the short time we got to see her than many have in their lifetime. Sweet Mary Genevieve raised so very many questions. Why? How? What if? What will we do? What should I do? One seems to question much when death visits a home. But one questions so much more when it is the death of a child. Why is this grief so different?

I have heard many propositions about questioning in the midst of difficult times of grief or trial. Many of those have taken the road of supposed least resistance and said that we should not question God and His purposes for our lives. But I have seen many who have taken that road crumble under the weight of guilt, go mad with the agony of loss, or work themselves into the grave trying to create a redemptive story from one of loss and pain when they themselves yet have no hope. Some of them end up ok. But they never move past the grief or trial to being more than just ok. Why is it not only fine to ask questions but good to ask questions at such times as these?

If in my search I had found one or two questions in Scripture—maybe even five—I would have questioned the importance of questions in human life. But knowing that there are at least 2,534 causes me to realize that God intended us to be a questioning people. But remembering that we as a questioning people are made in His image, we must also remember that He is a questioning God. The first recorded dialogue between God and man in Genesis 3 came at The Fall when God asked questions of both Adam and Eve. “Where are you?” “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” “What is this that you have done?” The first recorded dialogue between Jesus and man in Luke 2 came when Mary and Joseph were looking for Him during the Feast of Passover “Son, why have you treated us so?” To which Jesus replied, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” The first recorded encounter with the Holy Spirit and man in Acts 2 caused a flurry of questions. “Are not all these who are speaking Galileans? And how is it that we hear, each of us in his own native language?” “What does this mean?”

Though God’s questions are often different than our own questions, He is our ultimate standard since we are made in His image, which means that we should seek in all things to be more like Him—even in the asking of questions. His questions are never selfishly motivated. His questions are never a complaint. His questions are never vindictive or accusatory. His questions are, on the other hand, always probing, expectant, revealing, sincere, intentional, and full of hope. The question should not be, “Is it right to question God?” but rather “Am I asking the right question of God?” Is my act of questioning born of a victim mentality or out of a longing to be changed and truly comforted?

Father, we know that we do not grieve as those who have no hope. But we are feeble, weary, and worn. What does it look like? This grief we are to bear? Teach us to grieve, even as you teach us to love and question you as we ought.

Sports Seasons Has Spoken

Out with Vince, in with Kerry! They've simply given voice to all of Tennessee by posting this little blue sign in their establishment, but boy howdy when you see it in print like this it just makes plain 'ol sense!



And can I just say, "Read my shirt: COLLINS"! I've been tellin' y'all this since Carolina!

I Hate Change

Having been through a number of computers over the last couple of years, I occasionally stumble across old files from long ago. Today brings just such memories to light as I re-discovered my college graduation speech. It's pretty apt considering that just a few hours ago I declared today "I Hate Change Day". I'm posting this speech mostly so that I can continue laughing, but also as a reminder that change can bring about good things.

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I hate change—loose change or life change.

When I moved to Franklin and started living on a college student budget, I some how got the idea to have two collection stations for my loose change—my truck and my little miniature-plastic-combination safe that I’m sure I stole from one of my siblings. Some how more of the change ended up in my truck. I have this suspicion, looking back, that that was the case after I discovered how well loose change worked with the Wendy’s $.99 menu or the Sonic half-price-drink schedule. I still found myself grimacing any time I had to put change in my pocket and wait to deposit it in one of my two “accounts”—Oh, but when you taste a lemon-berry slush from Sonic—it’s Heaven!

Dave just moved back to Franklin this year to finish up school. In January he succeeded in kind of speeding up the process of the whole wedding thing. Some day, hopefully, in the near future maybe he and Danielle will be blessed with a family. But for now, he’s wrestling with being a practical Trinitarian visionary—along with our friends, the Graysons—and is planning to put his incredible wisdom and Moral Philosophy skills into rigorous action by joining with Robbie to reshape Stone Table Tutorial.

Kristin “joined the club” this year and was a bit apprehensive about how she would be received. Which is not surprising because it seems anything relating to Der sometimes has a reputation for being a groupie sort-a thing. But with her help, I think we’ve dispelled all notions of cliquishness. Kristin was dissatisfied with her college education. I’m sure that more than once it put her on the brink of tears because she knew there was something more—something richer. When she came to Bannockburn, we all knew she had found it. And we all became the richer for it. In the course of this year, Kristin too has found herself in a tizzy of wedding preparations. She and Alan, though, must wait until July, which gives them a few more months to eagerly anticipate the changes that the coming weeks and months will bring. Seminary in Jackson, MS is Alan’s call and thus is Kristin’s call at this time in life. They too, Lord willing, will in the future be blessed with a family of their own.

It was a hectic day for all three of us some weeks ago when I felt like starting a deep conversation—some thirty seconds before class was to start, I’m sure. “I hate change.” And in that thirty seconds as I read the faces of Dave and Kristin, the expressions said and unsaid seemed to reveal the same thought.

It seems that each year the following year is looked forward to only with anticipated dread. We’ve looked at this year of changes that the three of us have experienced together, and though we’ve grimaced quite a few times, we wouldn’t exchange it for the world. We’ve all had the thought that there’s no way next year can get any better than this. But in that 30-second-right-before-class-deep-discussion time, we realized that we had at one point or another said that last year and the year before and most likely each year previous—“There’s no way next year could be any better than this.”
But it can be, and most likely will. Though the unforeseen is a bit more frightening at some times than others, and though the mere idea of change will continue to make us grimace, we will continue to be reminded that our callings are sure because we’re investing in something so much bigger than ourselves. We may have to wait to deposit our loose change—Oh, but when you taste of the glories of God’s covenant plan—it’s Heaven!

CONGRATS Chris, Jayme, and Allie Bear!!!

Todd Burleson (1965-2008)

My friend, mentor, teacher, and former headmaster has gone Home. My heart aches for my own loss but more so for the loss in Natalie, Austin, Dylan, Christian, Mary Claire, Jackson, and the rest of the Burleson family's lives. But at the same time--how ever feebly acknowledged at this stage in grief--my heart also rejoices in that Mr. B is celebrating that imperishable, undefiled, and unfading inheritance kept in heaven for him, while in the presence of Life Himself.

The last time I saw Mr. Burleson face to face we were talking about what my calling as a teacher might look like in the future. Well, really he was talking about that. My little mind was busy scheming about the possibility of he and his family moving to Franklin so that he could become headmaster of FCS! He always did bring out the most random and conniving of my visionary traits.


Mr. B was a man of diverse passions, yet firmly grounded and marked by substance. He had a way of always bring a person's central focus back to the heart of Christ and the gospel without Sunday School moralisms or religious cliches. His sincerity and honesty were a large part of what made him so endearing. That...and his smile. I have seen no bigger, more warming smile in my life, and the laughter that would often accompany was always infectious. Despite of his enormous depth--or perhaps in light of--Mr. B was especially down to earth. He was the kind of man that would let you be an honorary member of the boys basketball team because there weren't enough girls to have your own team. He was the kind of man that would help you out when you were trying to make his last name into an acrostic just so you could forever remember that the "e" goes after the "l" and not before. He was the kind of man that was content being the second choice of a group of students who really wanted the unavailable Dr. Grant to participate in their 40 hour project, and he still didn't complain when we then subjected his Vaselined face to a paper mache masking endeavor!

It is because of all these things that I know about Mr. B that my prayer for his family is that their unutterable grief, in the loss of so great a trophy of God's grace, will soon be turned into a joy inexpressible and full of glory.

So Long, Brett!

Roller Coasters

I recently pulled out a high school yearbook and was flipping through memories. When I got to the page where my dear friend and former headmaster, Todd Burleson, had written me a note I said, "Ah, that's what he REALLY said!" Since high school I have always remembered what he had written towards the end of the note as, "Life is a grand and glorious roller coaster," and there would be occasions when that quote would pop into my head in moments of intensity or drama. But that's not actually what he wrote. Instead his admonition was a lot more proactive than the quip I had turned it into, "Keep working for the Lord. It's a great roller coaster ride."

Any time I think about the analogy of life being a roller coaster, or any time I ride a roller coaster (which is few and far between these days!) I not only think about Mr. Burleson and his admonition to me to stay the course, but I think of Six Flags New Jersey when the Shores and the Burlesons had one of the most fun times in my memory! The admonition and the fun were forever linked in my mind when I looked around me and saw that my closest friends were there with me, along for the ride—for the ups and downs, the screams of terror and the shrills of laughter. Yes, life is a grand and glorious roller coaster, but Mr. B has reminded me that there is purpose in it and that you never ride alone!

Excuse v. Explanation

A good friend and mentor once taught me that there was indeed a difference between an excuse and an explanation. The Oxford American Dictionary says:

ex-cuse—an attempt to lessen the blame by attaching a fault or offence; seek to defend or justify

ex-pla-na-tion—a statement or account that makes something clear; a reason or justification given for an action or belief

I can read those definitions and still not get it. I had to experience the difference myself, get caught in the act of trying to come up with an excuse when all I really needed to do was give in and point to my explanation.

I’m a control freak. I’ll admit that from time to time. I’d rather “attempt to lessen the blame” by attaching my own fault so that I can see that there is something different and better I can do the next time to make the outcome change. It’s easier for me. So naturally defending and justifying my actions fall easily into place when I hand out an excuse.

I had no control. But I wanted it desperately. I was just trying to be with my family during a time of unrest and upheaval, and I couldn’t manage to get my schoolwork done. Nothing was clear to me. I wanted to justify, show that I could do better. That’s when I was told, “Amy, there is a difference between an excuse and an explanation. What you have right now is an explanation.” I suppose the part I couldn’t grasp was the “reason or justification given” part. The reason was already there, the justification already given: I didn’t have to make it up.

Suddenly it was clearer. My family situation was no typical, “My dog ate my homework” excuse. It really was different. For all the effort in the world, sometimes circumstances hinder you from working out what you know you should—or what you think you should—be doing. And there is no amount of control you have over the situation apart from acknowledging and putting the next foot in front of the other.

T minas Quatro

Meet Nolan...I can't believe he's giving her a different last name!